I've had an emotional day today. Such mixed emotions involved.
I woke up feeling absolutely horrendous, I've been really suffering with my IBS at the moment and had stomach pains which kept me awake pretty much all night. So obviously I woke up exhausted and was still in a lot of pain. I needed to book an appointment with the doctor this week anyway to discuss some things and get acquainted with the doctors in Norwich. Being in so much pain I figured today would be the perfect opportunity. I went in with my usual list written down of things I wanted to discuss. I was a bit apprehensive as usually every question and concern I have is dismissed and doctors openly admit they know little about my condition. I knew that there were GP's at this surgery who specialise in CFS so was hoping I would see one of these.
The appointment was probably my most successful so far since my diagnosis. I explained I had CFS/ME and the doctor was really understanding and kind about it. She started discussing my symptoms with me and answered a lot of questions I had. I asked if my dizziness when I was on my feet was normal, which she said it was, however, has advised I started wearing compression socks during the day, which have been ordered and should be here by the weekend. This will help with my circulation and hopefully help me become a bit more active - or at least not feel like I'm about to keel over 24/7. She also prescribed me some tablets for my tummy which have already started to help. My IBS gets worse at times of stress and going back to work obviously is worrying me.
The doctor also suggested I get my bloods re-done which haven't been done in about a year just to make sure there are no other underlying reasons as to why I get so dizzy and weak. This probably won't be for a couple of weeks now but at least it has been mentioned. Once I had finished at the doctors and feeling much happier that I finally had a doctor with good knowledge of what I'm going through, I then got to go and see the flat for the first time! I loved it and it's made me even more excited to move in.
I then had a bit of a meltdown. We had walked to and from the flat, and my usual dizziness, nausea, lack of temperature control, plus the exhaustion, stomach pain and all my usual pain just got on top of me. I threw a strop when I knew we had to leave the house and ended up getting myself in a state and crying. It all gets a bit much sometimes that the simplest of things can leave me feeling so ill. I had a lovely weekend with my friend and was feeling better than usual. Until today. It gets very frustrating that I don't know if/when it will get better. I try and stay so positive but everyone is entitled to a bad day! I get angry that my body can be so useless and can't cope with usual everyday things anymore but there is no point dwelling on this as it's not something I can change.
Once I'd snapped out of this mood, I powered on. We got ready to leave the house and I took my prescription into the pharmacy. The pharmacist was lovely and helped me sort out paying a £10 direct debit a month to cover my prescriptions which will save me a lot of money since I now need around 3 prescriptions a month. I was impressed as no pharmacist has mentioned this to me before and it made me feel even better about being in Norwich. The doctors and the pharmacist were nicer and more helpful here than my doctors at home. This also helped greatly with my mood. We went to Adam's mum's house and then came home to a tax rebate! So obviously I got dragged into town and bought GBK which was heaven.
I am now resting up and watching Pretty Little Liars before me and Adam are going to make - or attempt to make - a banoffee pie, my absolute favourite dessert.
My pain is still high but it's easier to deal with when my mood is better. I've taken my painkillers which haven't really done anything but my stomach is 10x better than this morning. I'm hoping that tomorrow will be better than today as I really need to get prepared for going back to work.
Wish me luck with the banoffee pie!
xxxx
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