We got back yesterday morning about 4am, which obviously wiped me out. I'm still absolutely exhausted and I think it will take me a couple of days to recover. It's so nice to be able to sleep properly after barely sleeping in Spain due to the heat. Ceiling fans are useless in 30+ degrees.
Despite not sleeping, I had the loveliest week and best holiday I could have asked for. It was so chilled out and exactly what I needed. The first few days I felt pretty good, much better than I had in weeks but unfortunately that didn't last. We managed a night out on the Wednesday in Marbella which was so good, of course, alcohol got the better of me and I made the mistake of drinking vodka. But I had an absolute blast so it was worth the hangover the next day - even if we did spend the whole day asleep until 6pm.
Before the night out in Marbs!
I don't know whether it was the night out that affected me or the lack of sleep in general, but the pain then got much worse for the last few days of the holiday. I tried to avoid taking my painkillers as I don't want to become dependent on them but I had to give in. On Friday we spent the day at the beach in San Pedro which was perfect. The weather was lovely with a nice breeze which made the sea really rough. This was so much fun and we swam out and bobbed around in the waves. When we got out, I had a bit of a nightmare and had a cruel reality check of how weak my legs have become. I was sat down in the sea and couldn't physically shift my weight onto my legs to stand up. Adam had to lift me up and I was in quite a lot of pain after this.
The beautiful beach.
The next day I was feeling pretty miserable, it all gets a bit much sometimes; the constant pain, feeling like I'm going to fall asleep at any second, feeling like it's too much effort to even hold my head up and not knowing if/when it is going to get better. It's frustrating that every time I do anything with any walking involved, I panic about how I'm going to feel. Anything longer than about 10 minutes, I get dizzy, hot and feel sick but I just pace myself and accept my limitations.
Luckily, the flight home was a lot less stressful, it was smooth so I didn't feel anywhere near as awful as on the way out and slept for the majority of it. I then slept most of the car journey home and was asleep within seconds of my head hitting the pillow when we got in. I slept for a decent amount of time but still felt like death. We popped into town and that finished me off! I felt weak and exhausted so I went for a two hour nap. When I say I need a 'rest', I think people don't understand what I mean. I don't need a sit down, I need a full blown lay down in the dark where I can sleep if I need to. Adam came and woke me up with an Irish Creme Latte and my favourite biscuits and loaded my iPad up with Pretty Little Liars so that we could go food shopping.
My wake up call from my lovely boyfriend.
I plan on having a lot of rest today watching Pretty Little Liars and am going to a register with a doctor to hopefully get put on the waiting list for the CFS/ME clinic in Norwich. They have GP's who specialise in it so will hopefully be much better than the useless GP's at home.
Writing this has worn me out, so I'm getting back into bed.
Goodnight :) xxxx
No comments:
Post a Comment