I'm not 'boring' or 'lazy'

I decided to write a slightly less positive post today about how others react towards me now that I am 'different' from how I used to be.

Firstly though, I would like to say how grateful and overwhelmed I am from the support people have given me since starting this blog. I have had people I haven't spoken to in years messaging me with ideas, advice and even just to acknowledge they have seen the blog and wish me better. It's lovely to know how much people care.

However, onto the less positive. I am fully aware that people don't mean to be nasty or upset me and most of it is a lack of understanding. I suppose I am to blame for not telling people why I don't do the things I used to, but I don't think I should have to tell people if I don't want to. This is another reason for starting the blog, to make people aware that sometimes there is a lot more going on with people than first appears.

I used to be very active and loved nights out, so turning down days out and nights out is really hard, so obviously when I am then called 'boring', 'lazy', 'anti-social' etc, it does hurt. This is not a dig at people, it's just my way of explaining that it is hard to hear. I am not boring (I don't think), I just have fun in other ways now. It just all takes planning. I can go out for the day, but I need to know in advance. That is all. So asking me at the last minute if I want to go out and I haven't saved the energy, then unfortunately the answer will always be no.

With this illness, every person is completely different. There are things that I can do that others can't and vice versa. So comparing me to someone else with the same illness isn't going to make me suddenly be able to lift weights in the gym, for example. I physically can't.

Some people are bed-bound and have to give up everything, some can't work but can enjoy a healthy social life, I personally decided I would rather work as it gives me a good routine to stick to but this takes every ounce of energy I have and means that during term-time, my life is work and a social life doesn't exist. I love what I do though and I wouldn't change it for the world. This is also why teaching is perfect for me as I can through all my energy into working and then I have the holidays to relax.

I'm in a fair bit of pain today but the stronger painkillers I got yesterday are definitely helping.I'm going for coffee with my brothers soon - nice of them to invite me for a change! Then I plan to spend the rest of the day in bed watching more Pretty Little Liars (until my BBQ is ready).

I'm off for a rest now until I need to get ready xxxx