I think blogging will now only be a Sunday thing after how ridiculously busy I've been the last week! Last time I blogged I was massively stressing about going back to work after the horrendous stomach pains I experienced when I went home for the weekend. This improved dramatically overnight thank god so I was feeling a bit more positive on my way in on Monday morning! I was very nervous since it was the first day I was to have all of my 30 children sat at desks doing work at the same time but they were fantastic and made me proud. They are year 1 so it is obviously very different to what they were used to in reception but they are coping brilliantly and making me much more confident about the year.
The week went okay.. could have been better, could have been worse. A lot at the moment is trial and error since the school are making some changes to how they teach the curriculum so everyone is learning at the same time! This makes it easier for me and I don't feel as useless if something does not work. All in all, I have had a great week getting to know the children even better and trying new things with them but it has also been one of the most stressful weeks of my life. There are 3 other NQT's and lots of other new staff so I have a great support network if I need anything. The other year 1 teacher and my TA also could not be more helpful and I wouldn't have got through the week without them. I am definitely looking forward to seeing what we can achieve over the next year!
It hasn't helped that my health has been far from great as well. I have managed when I'm at work, but each day I get home has been awful, the exhaustion has taken over and the pain gets worse. I managed the first two days just with ibuprofen - and determination, but unfortunately by Wednesday I was back on the codeine and have been ever since. I kept getting horrific headaches that were making me feel sick and the dizziness came back in full swing which was a shame because the compression socks have been really helping with the dizziness. However, I realised that I was allowing myself to become dehydrated by not drinking anything all day. I would have a coffee throughout the day if I was lucky and that was it. For someone with chronic headaches and pain, it is important to stay hydrated so I have been making an extra effort to get filling myself up on water.
I spent the entire day yesterday planning, sorting out pupil data and making resources and am feeling much more prepared for the week. I enjoy this side of the job as well - which is good seeing as it takes so long - which is so crucial in what I do. If I did not have the passion for the job, my health would take over and I'm sure I would not be able to work. It makes me happy and excited to go in everyday and make (or try to make) a difference.
On a slightly less positive note, while I am feeling good about my job and working life, I have had a mental blip in terms of my social life. I went for a meal on Friday with Adam's mum and uncle which was lovely. We went at 6 which was good for me as we were then home by about half 8/9 and I could have an early night. I was feeling a bit frustrated as I could not make it past 10, and from 9 I was practically stuck to the sofa fighting to stay awake. However, I knew I would be woken up early when Adam had to leave for work so I didn't mind the early night. Weekends are the time I find hardest as they are a constant reminder of what I should be doing on a Friday/Saturday night. I cannot get away from seeing the snapchats/instagram posts of people's nights out, getting drunk etc, which is hard to see when you're tucked up in bed at 8 with a hot water bottle watching Monster's University on a Saturday night. I would love to be able to go out and have fun, not caring what time I stay out til or how much I drink but sadly, this is impossible for me when I have work on Monday. I need at least 4 days to recover after a night out so this would never work. Even if I went to bed at midnight, I would need a good couple of days to recover. This is not how I expected to be at the age of 23, especially as a year ago, this was not really a problem. The more I stress about things, the more pain I get so this has been quite a pain-fuelled weekend. I've shed my tears and picked myself back up again and reminded myself that it's okay to feel like this. I keep so positive throughout the week and am constantly so grateful that I am still able to work unlike many people with this illness. However, it would be nice to be just have one weekend that didn't revolve around sleep, rest, painkillers and stressing about the following week.
On a plus note, me and Adam ordered a sofa today and we are moving into our flat on Saturday!! I'm so excited and I know how happy we will be in it :). Next time I blog will probably be from the comfort of the flat. Even though we have hardly any furniture, it will be so nice to finally have our own space.
Hope everyone has a good week :) xxxx
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