This week has been tough. That's the only way I can describe it. I've been struggling more than people realise but I keep covering it up. Probably not the best idea and it makes me more unwell but I hate admitting to others, and myself how bad I actually feel.
I've been in so much pain, all I can say is thank goodness for tramadol! I hate having to take it but it allows me to continue with my day so I'll stick with it when I need it for now.
A few good things have happened though. 2 weeks ago I had an occupational health appointment and the report got sent to my school, they recommended I focus on my teaching and other duties should be taken away, so since Monday I have no longer had to do after school club or break/lunchtime duty! This has helped hugely and has lifted a weight off my shoulders. I also set myself a New Years resolution - a bit late I know - that unless I have a meeting, I will leave work by half 4 everyday. So far I've achieved this! I decided it was time to put my body first and stop pushing it to the limit. I won't get better if I keep pushing. So instead of cutting work hours, I've come to with things to help. I used to spend hours sticking in children's work - the solution? Get them to do it themselves.
I had a doctors appointment last week, I was dreading it as I usually come out crying and feeling like they have given up on me and can't/won't do anything else to help but this one was completely different. We discussed my medication and sorted those out, we discussed my reflexes (which are too strong) and muscles (which are too weak) and did lots of silly little tests, like co-ordination tests with my hands and legs. All of which I failed. My body isn't working right - which I knew - so I am booked in for a brain scan with a neurologist on the 19th February. I am absolutely terrified and it is playing on my mind quite a lot. They are looking for nerve inflammation which could explain why my limbs are so weak and uncoordinated. If there is no inflammation and my pain is under control (which it isn't at the moment) then I may finally be able to start physio. I've heard good things about this but I understand that while I'm in a flare, it is more likely to make me worse.
I've been wearing a FitBit to measure my heart rate which fluctuates a lot and when standing is going up to around 130. This could explain why I get hot, nauseous, dizzy and unbalanced when I'm standing. It seems for once like we are actually making progress in looking at my individual symptoms which is good!
I've been put on new tablets for my tummy problems and so far these have been great! I haven't had the muscle spasms which cause a lot of pain, I've still been bloated but I haven't been careful with my diet so that's why.
Yesterday I woke up feeling horrific but I forced myself to sleep for another 3 hours and then I was actually able to enjoy my day. I did some marking, went into town with Adam and bought a couple of bits in the sale, then we went out for dinner and food shopping! So very busy in the end. My back started spasming in tesco but I've been wearing my tens machine again which helps loads.
All in all, I think I'm coming out of the flare up and next week should be much better. If I don't cry in pain, it's a good week! 2 weeks until half term which is fabbbbbb!
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