A day in the life of me with M.E!

Sometimes I wonder, when I complain about how I feel, even though people say they understand, how could they? 

I decided to explain what it feels like to me - some people may be different but this is how my illnesses affect me. 

So as you probably know, I suffer with chronic fatigue syndrome/ME which stands for myalgic encephalomyelitis and fibromyalgia. I also have a couple of secondary issues that have stemmed from the original diagnoses such as scoliosis and restless leg syndrome, but this are not life-changing as ME and fibromyalgia are. 

I decided that I would keep a diary for a day of how I am feeling both physically and emotionally. So here goes... 24 hours with ME... 

21/10/16 9:30pm

I just finished watching Sherlock with Adam, after the most amazing roast dinner. I'm all set for work and snuggled up in bed. 

21/10/16 10:30pm 

My back decided an early night wasn't on the cards tonight, I'm in agony and can't get comfortable at all. This is what we call "painsomnia", it is very very unpleasant as I'm sure you can all imagine. The muscles in my back are spasming, twitching and throbbing so I've had to get out of bed to get my painkillers. Adam has also sprayed me with deep heat which often, with the painkillers, eases it just enough to get comfortable. Not a great start to my working week when I can't even get the sleep I need. Let's hope they kick in soon!

22/02/16 5:45am

I finally fell asleep around 11:30pm I would imagine, not ideal when my alarm was set for 5:30! The first day back is always a bit mental so I want to have plenty of time to set up my classroom and set up for the day. I was meant to go into work on Thursday but was far too ill to go. I've got my usual stiff, painful, claw-like hands that I get every morning. This obviously makes getting dressed, doing make up and eating quite difficult but they do calm down within about an hour. My legs stiffen overnight so the initial getting out of bed is extremely painful too. The first thing I do is take my medication, this helps with the stiffness as these include painkillers. There are plenty of people who do not agree with using pain relief but the choice I have is stay in bed and suffer, or take tablets and be able to get on with my day. I'm sure most would choose the latter if put in my position. If you are able to do it without medication, fab! I, unfortunately, am not. 

22/02/16 7:15am 

 I've arrived at work bright and early to get lots done in the classroom - being too ill to come in on the day I wanted during half term has set me behind so there's a lot of sorting/tidying to be done. My meds have kicked in so I'm feeling okay-ish. Time to get things sorted before our meeting at 8:15! 

22/02/16 10:45am 

That meeting was hard work this morning, I forgot to take a chair in and I hate asking for help/admitting I'm struggling so I soldiered on. My back was not impressed! I was in a fair bit of pain but the meeting was pretty important so I had to push it to the back of my mind and carry on. I haven't been teaching this morning, as an NQT (newly qualified teacher) I get extra time to develop my own teaching by observing other teachers etc. So I'm not actually teaching til after lunch. 

23/02/16 5:45am 

Wow yesterday got busy!! I didn't get to finish my "day in the life of ME..." So I'll continue today! I was really struggling with my temperature last night, no matter what I did, I could not get warm. I even asked my new friend from Florida if she experienced issues like this just to check I am normal! (Well as normal as I can be for me). I woke up feeling VERY stiff, I managed to drag my body out of bed. It felt like each of my limbs had turned to stone over night and I had to lift the heaviness. I realised last night that even an hour's sleep will turn my hands into claws, i thought it could be from not using my hands for the whole night but surely they should not stiffen to that extent in an hour!? Who knows. Painkillers to the rescue. I would not be functioning otherwise. I'm sure my body will settle down in a little while ready for another busy day ahead. 

23/02/16 12:10pm

It's lunchtime! I'm feeling pretty rubbish. My legs have decided not to participate properly in life at all. They are so stiff at the knees, making walking obviously very painful. I feel like I'm wincing at every step but hopefully no one has noticed. Getting up and down off little year 1 chairs is not helping! Every time I stand up from the tiny chairs it takes about 10 seconds to stop feeling like ill pass out. I have my compression socks on today to stop the blood pooling in my legs which is meant to stop the dizziness and pain when standing. It's safe to say it is is not working today. I have an awful tummy ache and feel very sick which I'm hoping is just my usual stomach problems and not the bug that all my class seem to have! I'm ready for my next dose of pain relief so I hopefully it'll ease up the pain in my legs a bit. I hate feeling like I'm just counting down hours til the next dose though. However, wish me luck! 

23/02/16 6:50pm

Just got home!! So much to do at the moment but I'm determined to force myself to leave at 4:30 every day from now on. My legs did not get any better. They got worse in fact. I was asked by staff members if I was having a bad day so I must have been walking strange! I feel like I went to the gym for 2 hours and was then told to run 10 miles. Add that to twinges, burning and being stabbed with needles over and over.  That's how painful they are. This is why it annoys me when people moan about pain from the gym. At least you have a reason for the pain ... I don't like to be bitter but it's frustrating at times. 

My temperature has been all over the place too, currently I can barely feel my hands as they are so cold and they're stiffening up. My stomach still kills but I don't feel as sick. I feel like I need to go to bed but my mind is in overdrive at the moment. I'm not sleeping great, partly due to restless leg syndrome (secondary condition) which is elevated by stress (got lots of it) and partly due to pain. I'm going to have some dinner, stick some rubbish on the tv and try and switch my brain off. Sometimes I prefer the brain fog (where cognitive function declines and I can't think of words/watch proper TV etc) to the overdrive my mind is in. I've sprayed my legs with deep heat to try and get some relief so hopefully that helps. Codeine hasn't and I don't really want to take any tramadol but we'll see how the evening goes. 

23/02/16 9:30pm

I'm shocked I'm still awake after how rough I've felt today. I haven't needed tramadol so I'm happy! I'm very stiff but comfy and snuggled up in bed. I feel sick again and my stomach hurts, sometimes the best way I can describe these symptoms are a hangover without the alcohol. I've always been a sickly person so at least now I have a reason for it! My back and neck are throbbing so it's definitely time to sleep. I am watching Step Brothers as I always have to have something on in the background to fall asleep to, ready for another (hopefully better) day tomorrow. 

By all means, this has not even bad a 'bad' day. I will try and do "a day in the life..." On a bad bad bad day too. 

I hope sharing my day has been interesting(?) and has given people an idea of what having a chronic illness like the 2 I have is truly like. It doesn't go away, it just becomes part of life. I would like to think I stay mostly positive about it and am always holding onto hope that one day I'll get better. 

Good night :) xxx

Half term = Valentines Day, ECG, London, Neurology appointment and REST, REST, REST!

Wow it's been a long time since I've blogged! I meant to at the weekend but it uses a lot of mental strength which I haven't had, plus I've been pretty busy! I can't even remember what my last post was about. I'm in a lot of pain today so I'm writing this quickly and I doubt I'll proof read so please excuse any mistakes!

It's half term and I'm having the loveliest week off. The first couple of days I rested (I think, I can't actually remember that far back)! Sunday was Valentine's Day and I was all set for a "date night" in the flat, we were going to eat lasagne, watch a film and chill. We got ourselves all dressed up and cracked open the prosecco, when a taxi arrived,  I got whisked away in the snow to my favourite restaurant!! It was so romantic and perfect. 

Then on Monday evening, Adam and I traveled down to my mum's in Essex ready for our day out in London on Tuesday. 

I had a doctors appointment on Monday morning, again she was very helpful and we discussed lots of things. I had my arms examined again and they are stiffer than ever and are still becoming weaker which is a bit scary. We discussed pain relief and how if my brain scan comes back clear then she will refer me to a pain clinic to discuss alternatives. I mentioned about my heart rate and she was very concerned and wanted this looked into before the brain scan. I had an ECG that day which came back clear but since the concern is when I am standing, that was not overly helpful and quite frankly a waste of everyone's time. The nurse who did it didn't listen to a word of what I said and when I explained the problem she just said "well we don't do those tests here" and did the normal ECG. 

Anyway, it was lovely to be at home! I love spending time with my mum and her fiancé and I had a lovely relaxing bath! I do miss having long baths since we don't have one in our flat. I bought some Epsom salts and gave them a try since I've heard great things about them helping with pain. Unfortunately it didn't help me, though I felt very chilled and relaxed afterwards. Baths actually make the pain in my legs even worse due to the heat. 

We had a long lie in on Tuesday so I could rest up lots before our day in London, which was absolutely perfect!! We got to London, went for afternoon tea in The Orangery at Kensington Palace before going on a long walk around the grounds - obviously I didn't walk, I was pushed! Then it was was off to the Shard which was amazing!! The view was breath-taking and we were so lucky to have such a clear night. After that it was straight to the Duchess Theatre to see "The Play That Goes Wrong", it was absolutely hilarious and I would 100% recommend it to anyone. Obviously I was feeling poorly but I dosed myself up and pushed my illness aside for the day and really enjoyed myself! 

We left Essex and drove straight to Norwich station on Wednesday to pick up my friend Caoimhe who came to visit for the day. She bought me a card and 2 donuts which was so so kind!! To me, these presents weren't just donuts, they were proof that she understands me and how I am feeling. I have been quite down and upset about my health so that gave me a big boost which I needed. We chilled out, went to nandos and to the cinema to see Deadpool. Adam joined us for the day as well which was fun and lovely to see them getting to know each other better too. We went for a quick drink before she had to get the train home. 

Of course, when I woke up on Thursday, I felt AWFUL. I'd pushed my body a lot for 3 days and it caught up with me. I needed just to stay in bed all day and give myself the rest I was so desperate for. The pain/exhaustion/nausea etc lasted all day but thank god for pain meds and anti-sickness meds that I could actually sleep and let my body recover a bit. 

Finally, today I had an appointment with a neurologist. He asked lots of questions about my diagnosis, the build up to diagnosis, things about my daily life, main symptoms (there wouldn't have been time to discuss them all!), then he did a physical examination on my limbs which was pretty painful but okay. He tested my reflexes which again are a bit too strong but he isn't overly concerned. He stabbed me with a pin to test my sensitivity, which HURT! And just when I thought things couldn't get more painful, he decided to re-do the 'tender points' test for fibromyalgia which oh my god I haven't felt pain like that in a long time - which is silly for someone who faces chronic pain on a daily basis! So obviously that confined my fibromyalgia diagnosis along with CFS/ME. We discussed the heart rate problems and he told me that it is a relatively common symptom for ME so that isn't a concern anymore and I am now waiting for the brain scan appointment which should be soon. This is to look for nerve inflammation and to rule out MS (multiple sclerosis). I can't really remember what else was said, it was an exhausting, painful appointment but it's a weight lifted about my heart rate. 

I can't believe it is Friday already and that I'm back in work on Monday! I have a bit of planning to do but the main focus this weekend is rest. I plan to get as much as I can before term starts again. I'm absolutely exhausted now and in a lot of pain so I'm going to sleep now. 

Sorry it's a long post, thanks for reading xx

A step in the right direction

I've been writing this slowly, a bit at a time since yesterday morning. 

This week has been tough. That's the only way I can describe it. I've been struggling more than people realise but I keep covering it up. Probably not the best idea and it makes me more unwell but I hate admitting to others, and myself how bad I actually feel. 

I've been in so much pain, all I can say is thank goodness for tramadol! I hate having to take it but it allows me to continue with my day so I'll stick with it when I need it for now. 

A few good things have happened though. 2 weeks ago I had an occupational health appointment and the report got sent to my school, they recommended I focus on my teaching and other duties should be taken away, so since Monday I have no longer had to do after school club or break/lunchtime duty! This has helped hugely and has lifted a weight off my shoulders. I also set myself a New Years resolution - a bit late I know - that unless I have a meeting, I will leave work by half 4 everyday. So far I've achieved this! I decided it was time to put my body first and stop pushing it to the limit. I won't get better if I keep pushing. So instead of cutting work hours, I've come to with things to help. I used to spend hours sticking in children's work - the solution? Get them to do it themselves. 

I had a doctors appointment last week, I was dreading it as I usually come out crying and feeling like they have given up on me and can't/won't do anything else to help but this one was completely different. We discussed my medication and sorted those out, we discussed my reflexes (which are too strong) and muscles (which are too weak) and did lots of silly little tests, like co-ordination tests with my hands and legs. All of which I failed. My body isn't working right - which I knew - so I am booked in for a brain scan with a neurologist on the 19th February. I am absolutely terrified and it is playing on my mind quite a lot. They are looking for nerve inflammation which could explain why my limbs are so weak and uncoordinated. If there is no inflammation and my pain is under control (which it isn't at the moment) then I may finally be able to start physio. I've heard good things about this but I understand that while I'm in a flare, it is more likely to make me worse. 

I've been wearing a FitBit to measure my heart rate which fluctuates a lot and when standing is going up to around 130. This could explain why I get hot, nauseous, dizzy and unbalanced when I'm standing. It seems for once like we are actually making progress in looking at my individual symptoms which is good! 

I've been put on new tablets for my tummy problems and so far these have been great! I haven't had the muscle spasms which cause a lot of pain, I've still been bloated but I haven't been careful with my diet so that's why. 

Yesterday I woke up feeling horrific but I forced myself to sleep for another 3 hours and then I was actually able to enjoy my day. I did some marking, went into town with Adam and bought a couple of bits in the sale, then we went out for dinner and food shopping! So very busy in the end. My back started spasming in tesco but I've been wearing my tens machine again which helps loads. 

All in all, I think I'm coming out of the flare up and next week should be much better. If I don't cry in pain, it's a good week! 2 weeks until half term which is fabbbbbb! 

People's Attitudes...

I'm back from Cambridge where I spent the day. I'm not feeling so good right now, I'm feeling very emotional I'm not going to lie. 

I've had a lovely day meeting up with my lovely friends. I bit the bullet and asked them if they could push me in my wheelchair, something I'd been quite worried about. I know this was silly and irrational because of course they were never going to say no but it's hard when it's still very new and daunting. It's also embarrassing, I hate telling people that I use a wheelchair at the weekends, that I can't walk for long, that I can't do what I used to be able to etc. 

I managed to get my wheelchair onto the bus and to the station all by myself and then onto the train. Quite an achievement and was feeling quite proud of myself. I got to Stowmarket and realised there was no lift. I was only pushing my chair at this point so I went to pick it up and was hit with the realisation that I couldn't lift it on my own. As this happened I heard the announcement for my train, the only one for another hour(!) and saw it pulling up. Only I was stuck on the wrong platform. I burst into tears and panicked. The man working told me to wait and he'd help but I didn't have time to wait. Luckily an amazing woman came over, grabbed my chair for me, ran ahead and stopped the train for me. I couldn't thank her enough and started crying new tears at how kind people can be to a compete stranger. 

It was playing on my mind after that how much I've lost some of my independence and that's pretty crushing. I actually rely on others more than I realised. Especially Adam. I missed him a lot and knew if he'd been with me I'd never have felt the way I felt stuck on that platform. I appreciate every little thing he does for me and I know I don't always show it but I do. I hope he knows just how much. 

When I got on the train at Cambridge, a lovely ticket man helped me get the chair onto the train and into the wheelchair space. I wasn't sitting in it but I was feeling pretty done in and needed help. A woman had her bag in the space so he kindly asked her to move it. To which she just huffed. He pointed out the sign and she said she was there first. I said I'd fold it and put it elsewhere and he said no, I had the right to put my chair there and sit in the seat next to it. She huffed and puffed, refused until I got upset and she finally stormed off with her bag. Left upset again, all because of the wheelchair.

I had a couple of appointments this week, both more helpful than any of my GP ones. The main thing (not the reason I went) I found out is I was told I am fit for work!! Even though I knew I was, it is amazing to hear after being told for months by my GP for months. 

Back to today. Despite having a lovely lovely day, laughing and smiling with my friends and feeling normal for half a day, I am always hit with the fact I am not my 'normal' self anymore. I am pushed around in a wheelchair, I never go "out out", I don't buy nice clothes anymore because I never go anywhere to wear them and have to make sure I take my medication at the right time. I also am stuck with crippling exhaustion, pain and many more. It isn't fair. 

However. What has stuck with me today is how truly kind *most* people are. I have the most amazing boyfriend, fantastic friends, family and supportive job. So even though I'm still feeling a bit tearful on my journey home, most are happy tears. 

A fun-filled, pain-filled Christmas

I hope everyone reading this had a lovely Christmas!! I really did, it was so chilled and I'm still enjoying having time off work. I stayed in bed more or less flat out for the first few days of the holidays. I really needed a good chance to rest and let my body catch up and recover from how much I've been pushing it recently. It did me good and I had a really good couple of days. I managed to get all my Christmas shopping done using minimal amounts of energy and was enjoying catching up on some knitting again and I installed the sims back onto my laptop (which obviously I had to play for about 8 hours straight). My resting was going really well until Wednesday. I woke up already feeling groggy and not my best, had some eggs for breakfast and about half an hour later I started throwing up and couldn't move from the bathroom because I was gagging and retching and just feeling awful. It drained every ounce of energy I had and I felt terrible. I was home alone and a bit worried because I was so poorly and I knew I couldn't carry on like that, my body was in excruciating pain due to the exertion of being sick and two doses of tramadol later I decided enough was enough. I dragged myself down to the pharmacy and asked for help. No luck. Because of my health problems I was told I needed prescription strength meds to stop me being sick so I had to book an emergency appointment. It was with a different doctor, who of course was clueless about my condition. After a long time of trying to explain that I was vomiting a lot and my body was not able to cope with it. Eventually he gave me the prescription that the pharmacist had suggested in the first place and I went and picked it up. Within the hour, my sickness stopped and I was sat on the sofa eating a chocolate snowman. It was a miracle! Nausea is common in my illness anyway but I'm rarely actually sick from it.

The next day I was very sore from the stress my poor body had been through but back to a normal level. Luckily as it was Christmas Eve! Adam got home from work and we popped into town before coming home and making a chocolate house. Then we went to his mum's for the evening. We came home and got a good night's sleep ready for the festivities the next day. Adam was working Christmas Day so I actually spent the morning by myself. If you'd told me two years ago I'd spend Christmas morning alone I'd have been devastated but it was lovely to be able to relax and chill by myself for the morning so that I could really enjoy the afternoon and evening. It sounds strange but socialising is completely exhausting. I find it quite difficult at times so it was important for me to get in as much rest as I could.

Our chocolate house.

We opened our presents before we went to Adam's mum's house again and I was really pleased with the day trip to London that has been planned for February! On Boxing Day we drove down to Essex and have been here since. We are staying here until the 2nd January as we are going to see the fireworks in London for New Year! I'm sure I'll suffer horrific payback afterwards but I'm looking forward to it.

Boxing Day.

I was feeling pretty exhausted and in a bit of pain when I woke up on Sunday (27th) but we got up, went downstairs and made some salmon and eggs on toast. It was so yummy but within half an hour again, I felt AWFUL. I threw up a couple of times again and it wiped me out completely. This is the third time this has happened now within half an hour of eating eggs so we have had to assume that at the moment, I can't eat eggs. It happened when I first got sick with wheat and dairy so it's not exactly a huge shock and I'm hoping that if I steer clear then I won't have any more of these horrific days.

We have had a lovely few days, went sale shopping yesterday which has set me back slightly but it was nice. We all got some nice bits but shopping really isn't for me anymore! I'm in a bit more pain again today and completely exhausted. I feel like I've got a bit of a cold coming on as well which isn't ideal and is affecting my sleep.

Today, my mum's friend sent her a link advertising 'Fibrolief'. It's a herbal product with many different natural ingredients that have been proven to help with chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia. I looked into it and found that it's only available in America but a lot of the ingredients are ones available in Holland and Barrett. After looking into all the different products, we took a trip down there and have come out with a lot of them to try. Anything is worth a try and I'm running out of ideas. I'm still waiting to hear back about physiotherapy and whether I need to see a rheumatologist and the pain isn't getting any better so I'm willing to try anything. Especially herbal things as they surely can't do any harm right!? They were quite expensive but if they make me feel even slightly better than it is worth every penny. I've forgotten what it's like to feel healthy and normal so I want to try everything I can to get back to that.

All my purchases from Holland and Barrett!

 I'm feeling pretty rubbish today and need lots more rest to get ready for New Year. I hope everyone has a good one whatever you do!! xxxx

IT'S CHRISTMAS

Afternoon all! I was up very early after sleeping for nearly 15 hours last night. I've not been feeling great this week in the build up to the end of term and I took the opportunity of finishing early at 3:15 and Adam going out for his work Christmas meal to go to bed at 5:30 - tragic I know but I needed it. Even though it was a chilled week and we've been doing lots of fun Christmassy activities, when you're feeling like death, even sitting making Christmas cards with a bunch of 5 year olds can drain the life out of you. My body is in need of a good rest, I've been in a lot of pain the last few days, particularly in my arms, wrists and hands which has been hard, I try and stay away from the tramadol but I have needed them twice this week. They really do help with the pain but make me feel pretty spaced out so it's weighing up the options!

I went for a meal with the rest of the staff in our phase on Thursday evening which was lovely. I felt horrific but I pushed through and had the meal. Most of the team went bowling afterwards but that was out of the question. My hands felt like claws, they were so stiff and painful and all I needed was to cuddle up in bed. I was home by 9:15 and in bed by 9:30 so I was okay. It was a lovely evening but I get so exhausted that even having conversations is draining but it was lovely to spend time outside work with people and I enjoy just listening to people talk which isn't as tiring.

Fatigue-wise, I've been feeling slightly more energetic this last week, I'm still beyond exhausted and going to bed early but have felt a little more human. My headaches have been noticeably better since I got my glasses which is good and makes me think I have been straining my eyes with driving a long way to and from work every day. I woke up with an awful awful awful headache this morning where I could barely open my eyes but I think that was just from sleeping a bit too long and not having dinner or anything. I feel a bit better now but am starting to feel ready for a nap.

Pain-wise, I've not been great. As I said before, my arms, hands and wrists are really playing up which is frustrating as I can't even rest them properly. My hands and fingers are very stiff and painful.  I'm still feeling very weak but I have two weeks now to get a good rest in. I'm so excited to relax, catch up on TV, maybe even do some knitting if my hands loosen up a bit as I haven't done any in ages. Right now I'm making my way through the many boxes of chocolates the children in my class bought me, drinking lots of tea and watching Fifty Shades of Grey - with lots of breaks of course because my brain can't focus properly on films.

I even started my Christmas shopping today!! I bought presents for 3 people and only have a couple more things to get. I want to go into town but it's impossible to park and walking there is out of the question so I'll have to find a way to get to the shop I need. Christmas will be different this year as it's the first time I'm not spending it with my mum but we are going there for Boxing Day and having another Christmas Day then so at least now I get two days of celebrations.

It's been a good week at work, I passed my first NQT assessment with good comments which I was really pleased with and we have been making lots of Christmassy things, watching films and having parties - I truly have the best job in the world.

Over the holidays, I plan on getting as much rest as possible and meeting up with my lovely friends who live all over the place. I am determined to switch off from work and really enjoy the break. I have a doctors appointment to get my MRI results. I've been told over the phone that the results were 'satisfactory' and that I need to discuss with the doctor, I'm not really sure what this means. I also have an appointment with Occupational Health in January to discuss how I'm getting on at work and see if there is anything that can help me and to make things a little bit easier.

Hope everyone is having a lovely weekend and a lovely break if you have two weeks off too!! xx

My yummy Christmassy snack 

Christmas is coming!

Evening all! I can't believe how long its been since I blogged. I've been so busy with work and everything and it just slipped my mind.

Things have been good! As good as they can be. I'm still absolutely loving my job, couldn't be happier with how that's going. We are finally almost there with buying furniture for our flat so it's really coming together AND we are one week away from the Christmas holidays.

I can't describe how much I love my job and the people there. Everyday I go in smiling and come out looking forward to the next day. Yes I moan about being tired as everyone else does but I wouldn't change it for the world. This week has been lovely, getting ready for our nativity which the children are performing on Tuesday and Thursday which will be adorable!! We are slowly decorating the classroom and this week I'm going to get the children to make lots of little Christmassy things they can take home.

Since I last blogged, I've had my birthday! 24 years old, sounds absolutely crazy since I still feel about 18. It was a lovely lovely day, I had a lie in, cleaned the flat up a bit, had a nap and waited for Adam to get home from work. If you'd told me a couple of years ago that I'd be spending most of my birthday alone I probably would've cried, but I felt so unwell that it did me good to have some down time and rest so that I could enjoy my evening. We went for a couple of cocktails and a meal before having an early night, I felt horrific but it was a lovely evening and I really enjoyed it. It felt really good to be dressed up in a sparkly dress and I curled my hair. I felt vile on the inside but pretty good on the outside for once.

Me and my birthday cake 

All dressed up for the first time in months!

Healthwise, my pain has been no better, I've got tramadol for my really bad days and I have had to take them a few times now. The first time I took them was awful, I felt completely spaced out and I was really worried. It helped loads with the unbearable pain though so when that crept up on me again, I bit the bullet and took them and it didn't affect me so negatively the second time, or the third or fourth. Since getting my glasses, I'd say my headaches have got slightly better. I still get them but no where near as severe. My arms are still playing up a lot and my legs are weak so I'm using the wheelchair for shopping and things where I need to be on my feet. I'm not sure if I've posted on here since I got my wheelchair, it's helped me loads and makes going out at weekends much less stressful. It has opened some doors that have been closed for the last few months so it's made me a lot happier. I'm still waiting on the results from my MRI scan I had 3 weeks ago. The scan made me feel very unwell as the noise was ridiculous and I'm quite sensitive to noise. Also just not being used to staying in one position was quite stressful on my body. I had a full body assessment a couple of days before where it was found that I have scoliosis - curve in the spine. This has been caused by the way I walk because of the pain I'm in so makes it even more necessary that I use my wheelchair until I can start the physio and things to help.

I have some great plans for the holidays, spending Christmas at Adam's mums, Boxing Day and New Year at my mum's in Essex - though we are actually going to London for the fireworks on NewYear's!! It's perfect as I can take my wheelchair and be involved in the celebrations.

Tonight is the Alumi LCR at uni and a lot of my friends are in Norwich for it. Obviously I can't go which is disappointing as so many people will be there. I saw 3 of my lovely friends who popped round to see me which was great so I don't feel quite as much like I'm missing out. It would be nice to have the option to go but I don't so I won't dwell on it. Me and Adam popped out and bought some party food from M&S and a couple of beers so we are going to have our own mini party to make up for it.

Lastly, a huge thing that has made me ridiculously happy... we got 2 baby hamsters!!!! They were my birthday present from Adam and they are cutest, loveliest little things in the world. I love coming home from work and playing with them and Adam has really taken to them as well!

The beautiful girls Willow and Grace 

I'm going to try not to leave it so long from now on, but thanks for reading!!

Have a lovely weekend everyone xx