A fun-filled, pain-filled Christmas

I hope everyone reading this had a lovely Christmas!! I really did, it was so chilled and I'm still enjoying having time off work. I stayed in bed more or less flat out for the first few days of the holidays. I really needed a good chance to rest and let my body catch up and recover from how much I've been pushing it recently. It did me good and I had a really good couple of days. I managed to get all my Christmas shopping done using minimal amounts of energy and was enjoying catching up on some knitting again and I installed the sims back onto my laptop (which obviously I had to play for about 8 hours straight). My resting was going really well until Wednesday. I woke up already feeling groggy and not my best, had some eggs for breakfast and about half an hour later I started throwing up and couldn't move from the bathroom because I was gagging and retching and just feeling awful. It drained every ounce of energy I had and I felt terrible. I was home alone and a bit worried because I was so poorly and I knew I couldn't carry on like that, my body was in excruciating pain due to the exertion of being sick and two doses of tramadol later I decided enough was enough. I dragged myself down to the pharmacy and asked for help. No luck. Because of my health problems I was told I needed prescription strength meds to stop me being sick so I had to book an emergency appointment. It was with a different doctor, who of course was clueless about my condition. After a long time of trying to explain that I was vomiting a lot and my body was not able to cope with it. Eventually he gave me the prescription that the pharmacist had suggested in the first place and I went and picked it up. Within the hour, my sickness stopped and I was sat on the sofa eating a chocolate snowman. It was a miracle! Nausea is common in my illness anyway but I'm rarely actually sick from it.

The next day I was very sore from the stress my poor body had been through but back to a normal level. Luckily as it was Christmas Eve! Adam got home from work and we popped into town before coming home and making a chocolate house. Then we went to his mum's for the evening. We came home and got a good night's sleep ready for the festivities the next day. Adam was working Christmas Day so I actually spent the morning by myself. If you'd told me two years ago I'd spend Christmas morning alone I'd have been devastated but it was lovely to be able to relax and chill by myself for the morning so that I could really enjoy the afternoon and evening. It sounds strange but socialising is completely exhausting. I find it quite difficult at times so it was important for me to get in as much rest as I could.

Our chocolate house.

We opened our presents before we went to Adam's mum's house again and I was really pleased with the day trip to London that has been planned for February! On Boxing Day we drove down to Essex and have been here since. We are staying here until the 2nd January as we are going to see the fireworks in London for New Year! I'm sure I'll suffer horrific payback afterwards but I'm looking forward to it.

Boxing Day.

I was feeling pretty exhausted and in a bit of pain when I woke up on Sunday (27th) but we got up, went downstairs and made some salmon and eggs on toast. It was so yummy but within half an hour again, I felt AWFUL. I threw up a couple of times again and it wiped me out completely. This is the third time this has happened now within half an hour of eating eggs so we have had to assume that at the moment, I can't eat eggs. It happened when I first got sick with wheat and dairy so it's not exactly a huge shock and I'm hoping that if I steer clear then I won't have any more of these horrific days.

We have had a lovely few days, went sale shopping yesterday which has set me back slightly but it was nice. We all got some nice bits but shopping really isn't for me anymore! I'm in a bit more pain again today and completely exhausted. I feel like I've got a bit of a cold coming on as well which isn't ideal and is affecting my sleep.

Today, my mum's friend sent her a link advertising 'Fibrolief'. It's a herbal product with many different natural ingredients that have been proven to help with chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia. I looked into it and found that it's only available in America but a lot of the ingredients are ones available in Holland and Barrett. After looking into all the different products, we took a trip down there and have come out with a lot of them to try. Anything is worth a try and I'm running out of ideas. I'm still waiting to hear back about physiotherapy and whether I need to see a rheumatologist and the pain isn't getting any better so I'm willing to try anything. Especially herbal things as they surely can't do any harm right!? They were quite expensive but if they make me feel even slightly better than it is worth every penny. I've forgotten what it's like to feel healthy and normal so I want to try everything I can to get back to that.

All my purchases from Holland and Barrett!

 I'm feeling pretty rubbish today and need lots more rest to get ready for New Year. I hope everyone has a good one whatever you do!! xxxx

IT'S CHRISTMAS

Afternoon all! I was up very early after sleeping for nearly 15 hours last night. I've not been feeling great this week in the build up to the end of term and I took the opportunity of finishing early at 3:15 and Adam going out for his work Christmas meal to go to bed at 5:30 - tragic I know but I needed it. Even though it was a chilled week and we've been doing lots of fun Christmassy activities, when you're feeling like death, even sitting making Christmas cards with a bunch of 5 year olds can drain the life out of you. My body is in need of a good rest, I've been in a lot of pain the last few days, particularly in my arms, wrists and hands which has been hard, I try and stay away from the tramadol but I have needed them twice this week. They really do help with the pain but make me feel pretty spaced out so it's weighing up the options!

I went for a meal with the rest of the staff in our phase on Thursday evening which was lovely. I felt horrific but I pushed through and had the meal. Most of the team went bowling afterwards but that was out of the question. My hands felt like claws, they were so stiff and painful and all I needed was to cuddle up in bed. I was home by 9:15 and in bed by 9:30 so I was okay. It was a lovely evening but I get so exhausted that even having conversations is draining but it was lovely to spend time outside work with people and I enjoy just listening to people talk which isn't as tiring.

Fatigue-wise, I've been feeling slightly more energetic this last week, I'm still beyond exhausted and going to bed early but have felt a little more human. My headaches have been noticeably better since I got my glasses which is good and makes me think I have been straining my eyes with driving a long way to and from work every day. I woke up with an awful awful awful headache this morning where I could barely open my eyes but I think that was just from sleeping a bit too long and not having dinner or anything. I feel a bit better now but am starting to feel ready for a nap.

Pain-wise, I've not been great. As I said before, my arms, hands and wrists are really playing up which is frustrating as I can't even rest them properly. My hands and fingers are very stiff and painful.  I'm still feeling very weak but I have two weeks now to get a good rest in. I'm so excited to relax, catch up on TV, maybe even do some knitting if my hands loosen up a bit as I haven't done any in ages. Right now I'm making my way through the many boxes of chocolates the children in my class bought me, drinking lots of tea and watching Fifty Shades of Grey - with lots of breaks of course because my brain can't focus properly on films.

I even started my Christmas shopping today!! I bought presents for 3 people and only have a couple more things to get. I want to go into town but it's impossible to park and walking there is out of the question so I'll have to find a way to get to the shop I need. Christmas will be different this year as it's the first time I'm not spending it with my mum but we are going there for Boxing Day and having another Christmas Day then so at least now I get two days of celebrations.

It's been a good week at work, I passed my first NQT assessment with good comments which I was really pleased with and we have been making lots of Christmassy things, watching films and having parties - I truly have the best job in the world.

Over the holidays, I plan on getting as much rest as possible and meeting up with my lovely friends who live all over the place. I am determined to switch off from work and really enjoy the break. I have a doctors appointment to get my MRI results. I've been told over the phone that the results were 'satisfactory' and that I need to discuss with the doctor, I'm not really sure what this means. I also have an appointment with Occupational Health in January to discuss how I'm getting on at work and see if there is anything that can help me and to make things a little bit easier.

Hope everyone is having a lovely weekend and a lovely break if you have two weeks off too!! xx

My yummy Christmassy snack 

Christmas is coming!

Evening all! I can't believe how long its been since I blogged. I've been so busy with work and everything and it just slipped my mind.

Things have been good! As good as they can be. I'm still absolutely loving my job, couldn't be happier with how that's going. We are finally almost there with buying furniture for our flat so it's really coming together AND we are one week away from the Christmas holidays.

I can't describe how much I love my job and the people there. Everyday I go in smiling and come out looking forward to the next day. Yes I moan about being tired as everyone else does but I wouldn't change it for the world. This week has been lovely, getting ready for our nativity which the children are performing on Tuesday and Thursday which will be adorable!! We are slowly decorating the classroom and this week I'm going to get the children to make lots of little Christmassy things they can take home.

Since I last blogged, I've had my birthday! 24 years old, sounds absolutely crazy since I still feel about 18. It was a lovely lovely day, I had a lie in, cleaned the flat up a bit, had a nap and waited for Adam to get home from work. If you'd told me a couple of years ago that I'd be spending most of my birthday alone I probably would've cried, but I felt so unwell that it did me good to have some down time and rest so that I could enjoy my evening. We went for a couple of cocktails and a meal before having an early night, I felt horrific but it was a lovely evening and I really enjoyed it. It felt really good to be dressed up in a sparkly dress and I curled my hair. I felt vile on the inside but pretty good on the outside for once.

Me and my birthday cake 

All dressed up for the first time in months!

Healthwise, my pain has been no better, I've got tramadol for my really bad days and I have had to take them a few times now. The first time I took them was awful, I felt completely spaced out and I was really worried. It helped loads with the unbearable pain though so when that crept up on me again, I bit the bullet and took them and it didn't affect me so negatively the second time, or the third or fourth. Since getting my glasses, I'd say my headaches have got slightly better. I still get them but no where near as severe. My arms are still playing up a lot and my legs are weak so I'm using the wheelchair for shopping and things where I need to be on my feet. I'm not sure if I've posted on here since I got my wheelchair, it's helped me loads and makes going out at weekends much less stressful. It has opened some doors that have been closed for the last few months so it's made me a lot happier. I'm still waiting on the results from my MRI scan I had 3 weeks ago. The scan made me feel very unwell as the noise was ridiculous and I'm quite sensitive to noise. Also just not being used to staying in one position was quite stressful on my body. I had a full body assessment a couple of days before where it was found that I have scoliosis - curve in the spine. This has been caused by the way I walk because of the pain I'm in so makes it even more necessary that I use my wheelchair until I can start the physio and things to help.

I have some great plans for the holidays, spending Christmas at Adam's mums, Boxing Day and New Year at my mum's in Essex - though we are actually going to London for the fireworks on NewYear's!! It's perfect as I can take my wheelchair and be involved in the celebrations.

Tonight is the Alumi LCR at uni and a lot of my friends are in Norwich for it. Obviously I can't go which is disappointing as so many people will be there. I saw 3 of my lovely friends who popped round to see me which was great so I don't feel quite as much like I'm missing out. It would be nice to have the option to go but I don't so I won't dwell on it. Me and Adam popped out and bought some party food from M&S and a couple of beers so we are going to have our own mini party to make up for it.

Lastly, a huge thing that has made me ridiculously happy... we got 2 baby hamsters!!!! They were my birthday present from Adam and they are cutest, loveliest little things in the world. I love coming home from work and playing with them and Adam has really taken to them as well!

The beautiful girls Willow and Grace 

I'm going to try not to leave it so long from now on, but thanks for reading!!

Have a lovely weekend everyone xx